CDs
Episode 97 Four things Foamy hates about CDs: stickers, Digipaks®, security tags, and copyright protection. Cast (in order of appearance): Transcript {The Warning screen appears.} Foamy: CDs. I love CDs. And think of myself as quite the audiophile. Now, I know some folks are merely casual listeners of this art, so this particular rant is for my fellow music lovers. What irks me about CDs are the following. Number one: those fucking idiotic stickers they put on the spine of CDs. These things are annoying. You rip them off, only to have some sticky residue left on your case which quickly collects all sorts of dirt and grime, and, for some reason, cat hair from a cat you don't own. It's annoying. Number two: Digipaks®. These are CDs who's actual case is a flimsy piece of cardboard with printed graphics on it. {sarcastically} Well, what's wrong with that? Well, for one, the whole case, which is also the album art, is now easily suceptible to all sorts of wear and tear. {imitating} Well, we're saving the environment by using biodegradable packaging. Bullshit. Paper is cheaper than plastic. That's why they manufacture them. Number three: security tags that are not only inside the CD case, but actually stuck on the artwork itself. Then, when you try to remove it, your fucking CD artwork is either warped or ripped, and is now completely ruined. This needs to be outlawed. Put a fucking security tag on a blank piece of paper, and stick it inside the booklet. Simple. Stop ruining my album artwork. Number four. Now I know this pisses-off just about everyone. {imitating} Copyright protection. You usually find out a disc has copyright protection when you put it in your disc drive and your whole fucking computer freezes. Permanently. Blue Screen of Death. {The view cuts to a blue screen:} WHINE-D'OHz HAS ENCOUNTERED A DISC ERROR . . . COPYRIGHT SOFTWARE DOES NOT ALLOW YOU TO PLAY A CD YOU OWN WHERE AND WHEN YOU WANT TO . . . WE NOW HAVE YOUR MONEY AND A CD THAT YOU CAN NOT USE IN YOUR COMPUTER . . . HA, HA, HA, HA . . . REBOOTING . . . . {The view cuts back to Foamy.} Foamy: Annoying. And then the record companies wonder why no one is buying CDs anymore. No one is buying them because they completely took the fun out of owning CDs. If you want to increase sales, stop fucking with the packaging, get rid of those top spine stickers and those idiotic security tags and the copyright shit that fuck with your computer. And, more importantly, sign some good fucking bands! No one is going to by CDs from bands that suck! {off screen} Don't make me go back to vinyl. Damn you all. {The Ending screen appears.} Easter Eggs *Click on either Collide poster to go to Collide.net. *Click on the Conspiracy Of Four poster to go to Consipracyoffour.com. *Click on the The Missing poster to go to Themissing.com. *Click on the Hissy Fits poster to go to Hissyfits.com Fun Facts Explanations *An audiophile is a person dedicated to high-fidelity sound reproduction and achieving high-quality results in the recording and playback of music. *The Blue Screen of Death is the screen displayed by Microsoft's Windows operating system when it cannot or is in danger of being unable to recover from a system error. *"Vinyl" refers to a gramophone record, an analogue sound recording medium consisting of a flat disc with an inscribed modulated spiral groove. Real World references *A Digipak® is a style of compact disc or DVD packaging that consists of one or more plastic trays contained in a cardboard outer binding of various shapes and forms. External Links *Watch "CDs"